First comes the idea, the project, the sense of adventure. This is exciting. It’s like falling in love. Something chemical happens in the brain; you’re hooked. The approach to a new project feels like my approach to a new poem. It has in common a state of receptiveness, playfulness and being open to the most fantastical of possibilities. Lean into your idea and start to move in that direction. Those first steps are significant. Somehow a good idea can then take a life of its own.
This is not for me the time to look at the possible pitfalls. It’s a state of visualisation and imagination. The reasons not to do it will come crowding in later. If you write a checklist at this stage it may get you nowhere and the idea abandoned too soon. Don’t expect to have everything in place; you don’t need to have all the answers to how or even why at this stage. Delight in disorder. (Robert Herrick). This attitude of receptivity and flexibility will serve you in good stead once your project starts to come to life and starts to go where it needs to go.
I remember this excitement when I came across a 1950’s ambulance for sale on eBay back in 2011 and immediately visualised what was to become the long-running Emergency Poet project. Travelling dressed as a doctor, with Nurse Verse and a poetry pharmacy of poems in pills under the awning; I could see it all in my imagination as I was bidding in the auction.. I think that there was not one person at the time amongst friends and family who thought that this was a sensible idea. The naysayers are useful – they may have good and valid points and your answers will test both the idea and your resolve. I must admit to wanting to prove them wrong. I enjoyed the risk, which, to be fair, even though I bought it with my overdraft facility, I always knew I could sell it and get my money back.
For me it was important to have an attitude that I would either ‘succeed’ or learn. There was no such thing as failure.
To allow oneself to enter this apparently naïve state may not be easy. You may have to let go of a little dignity or of caring what other people think of you. The vintage ambulance parked outside our house was an agony for my then teenage sons and the neighbours. They had to get used to it. The fact is that most people will think of what you’re up to only fleetingly, if at all and get on with their own lives. It doesn’t matter. You will be doing what you want to do. This can be a great place of self-actualisation however small. Your life and your work are the same thing. This I believe is a great achievement. Congratulations!
I seem to have an extreme case of the making-it-happen disease. I grew up with a parent who waited until we had enough money/ time/energy to paint the room/ go on holiday/ move job or house; all the ducks prettily in a row. Of course the ducks kept shifting about, nothing got done.
I always and quite early on think of the fallback position. What’s the worst that can happen? If that’s not so bad, that’s your safety net. My safety net is a very comfortable one involving tea, cake and friends. It’s always there and knowing it’s there will get you through the bad days – a little spring in the net and up you get. The safety net with the ambulance was improving a vintage vehicle and selling it on. Later after one unsuccessful Arts Council bid there was a second attempt and a little bit of funding support to do things better. Maybe some external funding can be your safety net, although I was going to do it anyway and I think the Arts Council like to know this about a project.
You will explore new things; you will learn and grow and learn when to change direction, re-think or do things differently. There can be no failure, only adaptation or growth. You will be altogether more contented and properly yourself in the world. This is an attractive and energetic state and draws towards it people that want to work with you. You will find yourself on an upward spiral; it’s still hard work but very rewarding.
Don’t confuse this naïve state with ignorance. It can seem that way to people looking-on. It is just seeing the most positive outcome and working towards that. Ignorance is all about not looking and avoiding the problems- don’t do that! It’s just that the received wisdoms, the sensible approach, the properly costed, the mature decision can be a chimera; something hoped for but impossible to achieve. I don’t at all mean to advocate recklessness, remember there is a safety net, but what have you got to lose and so much to gain.
Deborah Alma, from the introductory essay 'Poetry Projects to Make and Do' Nine Arches Press